Big Day

Tomorrow is the big day.

I am so excited and nervous. Arrival at 10:15 and procedure at 11. And then I'll be pregnant - kinda - and we just pray they stay and implant. We are doing assisted hatching which should help - this is were they thin the lining on the embreyo to make it easier for them to implant. The technology we now have is amazing!

I am on bed rest for 4 days after, except for getting up for the bathroom - and until we hear the heartbeat I am doing only necessary stuff. Alex will be running the house! He has a ton of frozen food, I'm finishing laundry today, bathrooms are clean, house vacuum and dusted, what else could he need...

For me I've got some beautiful yarn to make some baby blankets, some books to read, cell phone charged to text, water bottles ready, meds lined up - I add EVEN MORE, snacks to munch on.

We are ready to go... I'm so excited and so nervous. I'm trying not to think about this not working but I know I will be devastated if it doesn't. I think even worse than the physical shots and blood draws and procedures is the psychological aspect. You try to stay so positive because believing it will work is part of it working but it's so hard not to have fears that it won't.

So many women go through this and my heart breaks for them. I was listening to a woman in the waiting room, this cycle was her 4th so sad... Insurance companies need to start paying for this for women. A cycle can cost 10 to 12 thousand and meds run 5 to 6 thousand. It is insane! Luckily we have insurance that covers a chunk of our cycle this time and pays for the meds other then the co-pay.

Dart Board

"Hold the needle at 90 degrees and shoot it like at a dart board". These were the nurses direction for the progesterone shot. So now my husband is playing darts on my butte with a long needle and a thick oil shot into the muscles in my butte. Oh it hurts! Then he gets to rub my butte to try and disperse the oil so it doesn't pocket - how romantic!

The rubbing is not working :( I have an angry red lump on the left side that even the heating pad isn't working on. The right side is ok still, a little sore but no angry lump. Don't laugh if you see me sitting on pillows :)

Surgery

Yesterday went well.

It took 4 times to get the IV in and the 4th time it was the anesthesiologist who put it in. She was also amazing with the anesthisia. She gave me anti nausia and calming meds before I went to sleep - so nice and I even woke up nicely just sore. The nurses were awesome and so caring and considerate. When I started crying from nerves the anesthiologist patted my head and told me it would be fine and my nurse stood and held my hand until they put me out. I am such a baby!

I came home and was able to rest all day in bed with my percaset. Alex made dinner for everyone and kept the household together. I have to drink lots of gatorade and eat salty foods to prevent ovarian hyperstimulation. Today I am up slowly moving around. I ache a little but X-strength tylenol is cutting it.

Alex started giving me my progesterone shots - OUCH! this am. I also started my estrogen patch and still have a ton of pills. Over the next few days more shots and pills added. I go back sat. for my last procedure. Our babies are in the lab growing now and my thoughts and so many prayers are with them. I know Heavenly Father is watching over them for me...

Good Luck Charm?

Today the nurse said that my veins were telling her they were ready for me to trigger - I am so hard to get blood out of, one arm they couldn't get and the other the vein was starting to rebel and not give much blood. (She was teasing that my body was ready to be done giving blood.)

Alex brought me for my blood and ultrasound today. Just now I got a call, follicles are big enough and estrogen level leveled off. Surgery scheduled. Once more shot tonight and no shots on Monday!!! Alex must be my good luck charm :)

At it's own pace...

My body does things at it's own pace.

I thought I'd of had surgery by now. NOPE. My estrogen is still climbing which means my follicles are still growing.

Which means...hour drives to the Dr. 7 days in a row now for blood work and ultrasounds to measure follicles.

The end result is worth it all...

Body Fat... or lack of

Oh this would be a dream for me to be told I didn't have enough body fat.

For my 14 year old wrestler... a nightmare.

The kids must have 7% body fat to wrestle. Nic has 3.2%. Now we need a note from the Dr. saying he is healthy enough to wrestle. Errr. He just had his physical last month - where she filled out his wrestling physical form. So much CYA these days!

Shots

Too many shots...

One with a dull needle, leaves a big bruise and the meds lump under the skin so you have to rub an already painful spot to disperse them... I told the nurse, "yes, that's common we hear that alot." she says. Really? That mean manufacturer!!! Like this isn't painful and stressful enough!

Today I had fear struck in me. I hate, like really hate needles. THe biggest needle of my life was stuck in my belly for amniotic fluid when I was pregnant with Justin to check his lung development. Know what happened - blood came up the needle instead and his heart beat plummeted and we had an emergency c-section. Today... they told me my right ovary is hiding and they may have to stick a needle through my stomach instead of through my cervix to get to my ovaries. "You won't feel a thing, we will have you sleeping through the whole thing." says the nurse. Great!! More to stress about :(

This is almost like childbirth, you have your baby and forget about all the pain - so of course you will have another baby. This is you get pregnant and forget about all the shots and all the Dr visits with the constant internal checks, the surgery, the stress, the hormones that make you a crazy woman... Of course the beautiful baby in the end makes everything bearable - but can we skip this part and put the baby in my arms tomorrow. Ohhh, for a magic wand.

Overwhelmingly Tired!

I am so Tired! Just collapsing tired!!

I'm not sure if it is all the shots and meds or the worrying!

I am now at the Dr.'s everyday for ultrasounds and blooddraws. They added another shot today, now I give myself 1 in 1 leg and 2 in the other leg - I so can't do the belly. 2 of the shots have a lot of fluid in them - or so it seems. I have to really sike myself up to give myself the needles. The worst shots haven't even started yet. The trigger shot I almost passed out over last time and the lumpy butte shots hurt so bad I cry :(

But the end result gets me through each one and it won't be long now...They are thinking trigger Weds or Thurs. Retrieval/Surgery Fri or Sat and the big day Tues or Weds. Then December Results...

I pray so much and talk to all that is developing... The Bishop gave me a blessing last night... Dreaming, Hoping, Praying for a very special Christmas Present for our family.

It's getting to be that time of the year!

I Never put Christmas up before Thanksgiving - on Thanksgiving - yes!

But, this year I want to put up my holiday decorations RIGHT NOW!

I am very excited for the Holiday spirit this year!

Today...

Today my blood draw went perfect - at least for me. They were able to get it from the top side part of my elbow area. Yea! Didn't hurt near as bad as the top of the hand! :) The nurses tricks worked. I wore a sweater, had the heat on in the car to 80 and drank a diet coke and 2 hot cocoa's on the way there. Yea!

I added another shot to my regimin today, and was able to do it by myself. I am much braver than last time.

Justin is home from school today. Miserable with a cold. Alex is home cause his stomach hurts. I am spraying lysol and wiping everything down with lysol wipes. I hate germs so much!!

Nic is LOVING wrestling! He thinks his coaches are COOL! And the kids on the team are really nice and they are all helping each other learn. I am so happy for him!

Road Rash

Justin experienced road rash for the 1st time yesterday. He was riding his bike and doing "tricks" - lifting his feet off the pedals and sending them in various directions over the tires and out to the sides. I warned him that it was dangerous and he could fall. But "I'm 5 you know!" was the response (that was kinda my point, he's only...5!

And sure enough next thing I know his face meets the pavement and he was screaming! Road rash on knee, nose, arm and upper lip area. And yes, he still wants ramps and a skate board for Christmas.

BOYS!!!

This weekend was crazy busy!!

I tried to get a ton done - no lifting, pushing or pulling over 15 lbs starting tomorrow!

I fall trimmed my inlaws yard and retouched up mine. I steam cleaned and vacuumed and dusted and moved furniture - pretty much did a fall cleaning. Put away Halloween and put out Thanksgiving stuff. I cooked and grocery shopped and froze casseroles and pizza. This is for days I feel horrible or when I'm on bed rest. Alex swears he doesn't clean and will hire a maid to come over - ya right, did I tell you we are growing a $ tree in the backyard?

Now all is done...I am nervous and scared, but so excited for the possibilities...

Just in case you need to know...

If your blood does not like to leave your veins - try these tricks.

1. Wear a coat - yes even if it is 100 degrees out.
2. Drink like you'll never get another drop!

I'll let you know how this works Thurs. I will not be having another painful on the top part of my hand blood draw!!!!!!!

I was an evil witch on Halloween...

Just ask my 14 year old. He went for his wrestling physical and the Dr and I discussed the swine flu shot for both boys. (They've both already had the regular flu shot.) We decided that it would be best if they both got it. One to protect Alex as he is in the high risk group due to his diabetes. And also as Nic is wrestling he will be in close proximity to other kids.

Well Nic was MAD!! Which is an understatement. He turns to his brother and tells him how bad the shot will hurt. He then tells me he's going to pay me back! Ohhhh the teenager drama!!

The nurse comes in and I tell her to give the shot to the 5 year old first. She say's "really?" "Oh yes", I say, "The 14 year old is a wus"! Sure enough, not a peep out of Justin and a tremble of lips and an angry gleer from the teenager!

Well, we survived and after Nic realized he would live and the shot wouldn't kill him he's over his anger - until the next thing...