Our Journey to babies # 4 and 5

This is a timeline of our journey to conceive our twins! They started as hopes and wishes and dreams and prayers and through a little medical and Heavenly intervention we have received an answer to our prayers! I still can hardly believe this is happening to me, but it's true...WE ARE HAVING TWINS!!!

May 3, 2011
I've been wishing, and hoping and dreaming for a 4th little baby. Today was cycle day 3 and Alex and I both went to the fertility clinic for blood draws and to pick up birth control pills for me to start on Thursday. I go for my HSG procedure on the 12th. The ladies were wonderful to see - for such a stressful place (infertility Dr office) it is so warm and welcoming! They loved William and people were popping over to keep seeing "one of their babies". They thought he was beautiful and just loved his blue eyes and were excited that he would wave to them. I am a mixture of excitement and a feeling of wanting to quell that excitement because this might not work. I know without a doubt I want another baby but I also in a way feel guilty that I have 3 already and want a 4th and some people are there just wanting 1... I just have to move on from this and get into my hopeful mode. I'm also stressing about everything working. Retrieval and transfer are going to be the end of June and I am going to need Alex with me at retrieval and to take a few days off at transfer. I am hoping that it works out ok - Nic will help with Justin but William is going to need Alex here after I have surgery - I'll be all out of wack from the anesthesia and on pain killers and then after transfer I'll be on bedrest...I know it will work out, Alex and I always find a way to do it...

May 10, 2011
I started birth control last Thursday and this Thursday I go meet with Dana to get my protocol (med chart list) and have the HSG x-ray done. I am excited to keep moving forward with this cycle. I am scared about the hsg. I have antibiotics to take Weds night as they insert a tube through your cervix and blow up a balloon and you can get an infection. They will get me a little numbing shot in my cervix so hoping the pain won't be too bad and I have to take 800mg of ibuprofin 1 hour before my appt. Alex is taking the day off to watch William - he will come to the protocol appt and then bring William home. He wanted to stay but I think it will be easier on William to come home rather than sit for a few hours.
I really want this to work. I really want another little baby to snuggle and complete our family!

Thursday May 12, 2011
Today was the HSG. Alex and I met with Dana to get the protocol. Most of it's the same as last time. No blood thinners this time, only aspirin. After the scare with the bleeding with William he thinks it's best to discontinue that. I am happy about that as those shots burned and left nasty bruises but would gladly do again if it will get me my baby. He added Metformin 2x a day starting now to regulate my sugars and hopefully keep the gestational diabetes in check too. William came too and was oohed and ahhed over! They love to see their babies and happy outcomes! My ultrasound tech was there - she was there to see him 1st and show us his itty bitty heartbeat and was so excited to see him and gushed all over him.
After that we went to the surgery center. Alex and William stayed in the waiting room (he decided he could handle the wait with William) and I went back and got into the beautiful get up, hair in a net booties on and the beautiful gown :/ . I had some great nurses though and 1 of them stayed with me the whole time and let me squeeze her hand through the procedure. When Dr. C came in they said - she's back for another Dr. she has a 9 month old that's 1 of ours. He smiled and said well this time let's see if we can get you 2 :) . I love how wonderful they are and so compassionate and caring! And I love how they love the babies and are so proud of them!
HSG results - everything looks perfect no blockages everything clear and enough room to carry twins and my uterus still looks good after 2 c-sections. Whew!

Friday, June 3
Today was Ultrasound and bloodwork. Everything is all clear... Shots start Monday and more pills added.

Monday June 6th
It started today - the shots...Oh my little babies waiting in heaven please choose us as your family. I am praying so hard for you to join our family! I love you already!

Monday June 13th
Today I have about 7 follicles on 1 side and 5 on the other. They are thinking possible retrieval on Friday. This cycle my follicles have grown much faster than our cycle with William. My follicle size can get to 22 before we need to get them out. The highest are at high 18s and we are trying to give the 5's some time to make it to 12. I am feeling like it's almost time. I have a lot of soreness on the left side. Blood draws are hard, they are having a hard time getting blood and my stomach is full of shot bruises. But it's all okay and worth it to get my precious baby(ies).

Weds June 15th, 2011
Today was the day. All follicles over 12 so I just triggered (this is a shot) a few minutes ago at 7:15. Surgery center Friday at 630am and surgery at 715 to retrieve the eggs from my follicles. I have been feeling awful. Nautious and very bloated from the large follicles. But I don't care, I just want to be pregnant and to hold another miracle baby! I am praying so hard for mature eggs, then fertilization and good sperm, then 16 cells, then sticky embreyos, then to have a positive pregnancy test, then a 2nd positive, then an ultrasound with 1 or 2 beating hearts, then to carry a healthy baby or babies to 36 or 37 weeks, then to hold 2 beautiful babies a boy and a girl. Really I will take 1 or 2 boys or girls but in my dreams and prayers I pray for 1 boy and 1 girl. I pray for my prayers to be answered! Oh babies you are my wishes, my dreams, my prayers and I ache to hold you in my arms!

Friday, June 17 th
Surgery went well. I was the only patient that had retrieval today. We got 7 eggs.
Tired and sore today. Drinking lots of gatorade and eating munchos. I need lots of salt right now.

Saturday, June 18th
The lab just called. Out of the 7 eggs 5 have fertilized. (I had a lot more follicles but they had a hard time getting to 1 side and some of the eggs were not mature or good enough.) Keep growing my babies. I love you and am taking more shots and pills to get my body ready for you. We found out what a miracle it was that I had cycled faster than I did with William and was the only patient that had retrieval yesterday. The embreologist needed over 2 hours to find sperm that were good enough. Heavenly Father's hands were for sure at work here - to give the embreologist the time and the patience to work so diligently.

Monday, june 20th
Tomorrow is the day at 11:00 my babies are going back in my body! Mommy is coming to get you babies. I love you so much.

Tuesday, June 21st
For the 3rd time I am pregnant with triplets. I feel sad and hopeful all at the same time. We transferred in 1 that was given a 66 percent chance, one that was given a 22 percent chance and 1 not really given a chance at all. I am so hopeful for miracles, I don't want to lose more babies. I love them all so much!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Home Pregnancy Test - 2 faint pink lines!

Thursday, June 30, 2011
Digital Home Pregnancy Test says "PREGNANT!" 2 darker pink lines in regular pregnancy test!

Friday, July 1, 2011
Today was my 1st beta. It needed to be between 50 and 100 at 11 days. They tested mine at 10 days as it's a holiday weekend. It is 132! I am pregnant! I am so excited, so overwhelmed! But so cautious! Tuesday I go back for my 2nd beta. I need the 132 to double 2 times by Tuesday! Please oh please little babies please keep growing. I love you so very much!!!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Today was not good. My beta only rose to 325. A chemical pregnancy - I am miscarring my babies... I have to go for another beta Thursday and then I will be pulled off meds to give my body a chance to miscarry fully. Then I have to continue blood test till my beta gets to 0. Then I have to have to wait another full month before trying again. Hoping for September. I am so incredible sad.... I just want to curl up in bed and just mope but I have my 3 boys (Thank God I have them) and they need me to be present. But oh it is so... hard!
The nurse did say to be cautiously optimistic it could be other things too, but sometimes it is easier to give up hope... I know I'm not in a good frame of mind today...

Thursday, July 7, 2011
Today my beta was 927. What? I was so expecting to be pulled off meds and wait for a miscarriage. But now I am cautiously optimistic and I have an ultrasound on Monday, July 18th to see if we have a heartbeat. They said they see this happen often, most likely I was pregnant with twins and 1 didn't make it and that is why my # did not double. I remain cautiously optimistic...

Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I am so scared. I don't feel pregnancy systems. Yes, here I am wishing for nautiousness, sore boobs, anything... My butt is killing me, that's it! It's got huge hard sore red welts all over it from the shots. My stomach has tons of leftover adhesive from the patches and I'm gagging over the horse pills. I just want to be pregnant! I want to hold another precious love in my arms. I want a few of my children to grow up close in age. My heart is in torment, I keep telling God I believe in his odds, in his miracles because I know he works through my Dr's hands. But I know that there are also so many unanswered prayers. So many people that just want 1 baby, never mind their 4th. I just wish sometimes that getting pregnant was easier. I am a good mom. I try to do my best to raise my children to be good loving productive members of society. I love them beyond belief! So many people bring children into this world and don't even want them - it drives me crazy! My children are dreams, wishes, and answered prayers from heaven. I want my baby so bad, please help he/she to be growing and developing my heart hurts so much with love for him/her already...

Friday, July 15, 2011
If I am pregnant I am 6 weeks today. But, I feel Heartbroken... I am so scared that I am not pregnant. I don't feel pregnant. I am just so overwhelmingly sad. I am not giving up - I pray all the time..... I am just not sure that I have a baby growing... My heart is hurting...

Monday, July 18, 2011
Today we got the most fabulous surprise ever! I can't wait to tell people our wonderful news!

We are having TWINS!

What happened with the numbers they think was that 1 embreyo grew a little slower than the 1st and that's why my #'s were slower to rise. But today we saw 2 beautiful little embreyos and 2 absolutely breathtakiningly beautiful hearts beating!
Alex was so funny at the appointment. We were both nervous that there would be no baby at all. So, when they said there is 1 sac with a baby and a beating heart we were so relieved. This overwhelming relief rushed over me and Alex squeezed my hand. Then she said oh and here's a 2nd baby with a heartbeat and Alex shouted, "WHAT?" and jumped up to look and I just started to cry! My wishes, dreams, and prayers had come true! I immediately looked heavenward and thanked Heavenly Father for yet another of his incredible miracles, 2 more miracles!

Monday, July 25, 2011
This was the last appt with our fertility clinic. Everything looks great! The babies are measuring right on track and they have beautiful beating hearts! It's kind of sad, the people are just so caring and wonderful - I got so many hugs on the way out! I left all my extra meds with them, probably a couple thousand $'s worth - it is crazy how expensive they are. Luckily our insurance is good and we only have to pay a copay and since I cycled so fast I had a lot extra. I am hoping they will help a mom to be that is struggling to afford the thousands and thousands in meds reach her dreams of having a baby!
I have to call and let them know what we are having and go back to visit with the babies.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Today was my first OB appointment. I am going with a different OB. I switched to one that is a little more specialized in high risk for the twins. There are 5 doctors in the practice and I will see all of them. I was very happy after the first visit. They are very ontop of everything! They have me already going this month for a perinatal consult for the gestational diabetes and for carrying twins etc. I am glad they are so ontop of the gestational diabetes and not wanting to wait to 20 weeks for the drink test. I think the babies and I will be well taken care of in this practice.

Wednesday, August 9, 2011
I am feeling ok. Nautious here and there - mainly when I am hungry I get nautious. There are some things that don't agree with me. BK Whoppers and my favorite meal turkey, gravy & mashed potato's make me violently ill! I am almost all done with shots - this Friday is the last day, YEA!!! Then I just have pills left to take. I still don't feel too pregnant. I keep thinking that with 2 babies growing my stomach should be growing at an amazing rate but not yet. I can't wait until I can feel the babies move - that always makes it feel the most real to me!

Friday, August 12, 2011
Last day of shots today! YEA!!!
Today I am 10 weeks pregnant!