Justin

Poor Justin has strep again...or still as he was only off anitbiotic for 2 days before it flared up again. But they don't take out tonsils until you have it 6 times in 1 year.

Every time he gets strep he gets more sick. The first time he barely complained about his throat hurting. Now he sleeps all day, vomits like crazy, runs a 102 to 103 fever, his body aches, and he cries every time he wakes up that his head and throat hurt! It's awful!

This time he started throwing up at 3 am. Went to the Dr's at 9:50 where on the way he threw up in Circle K when Alex tried to be nice to get him a cold drink to cool his throat, threw up in the Dr's parking lot, and Alex had to pull over 2 times on the way home for him to be sick and as soon as he walked in the house he opened the slider and threw up all over the back porch. He slept all day yesterday. Didn't want any food other then cambells chicken noodle soup broth - no noodles at all! And when he was awake he layed there and cried, wined - and not the poor me give me attention but the I'm hurting kind. Noone could make any noise at all in the room he was in or he would burst into tears because his head hurt! My poor kid!

The Dr asked Alex if he had a blanket in the car for him since he had the chills and was shivering so bad in the office.

My poor boy!

Nic had a run of strep in 3rd grade and he was put on maintenance antibiotics to get him threw the last few months of school. If he didn't get it again after school we would assume there was a carrier in the classroom. He still has never got strep again, so some how he built up a good immunity to it. Poor Justin, I hope he builds up an immunity too!

He was up about 5 times last night before Alex (Thankgoodness because if I didn't get some sleep I would have been crying myself!) took him downstairs and he finally got him settled down enough that they both fell asleep on the couch some time in the night. I am so hoping the medicine has kicked in overnight and he feels much better today! Although I am giving him more that the usual 24 hours off of school. Technically he could go tomorrow, but I sent him right back last time and this time I think we are going to give his body a little more healing time before we send him back.

5 Months

Today I am 5 months with my little Miss and Mr! I still can't believe there are 2 babies growing in my tummy some days! This pregnancy is going so fast - I think because it's my last one I am trying to treasure every moment!

My tummy is quite large, according to my scale though, I still haven't gained any weight but have stopped dropping it as dramatically as before - bummer!

My c-section incision is sore as are my stomach muscles and hips. I guess that's too be expected with 2 babies growing. It does make it painful to sit and get up off the floor and to carry William. I try to let him walk and get Alex or Nic to help him up and down the stairs as much as possible. When I sit down my stomach sometimes feels likes it's stretching apart - I'm thinking that's the babies needing more room cause I'm so short. I have to eat a lot of small meals as my stomach gets full so fast and some nights I am up every hour to use the bathroom.
(disclaimer - I am not complaining, just want to remember... I'd hate people or God to think that I was complaining about these babies that I've prayed for, for so long - it's a fear of mine - irrational? Oh probably!!)

The nurseries are getting close to being done... I still need to buy:
- Material for 1 more blanket for little Miss.
- 2 Mattresses
- A pink crib sheet
- Sheer curtains - or material to make them.
- Brown material for little Mr's and William's crib dust ruffle and curtains.
- Light blue binding to bind William's new crib quilt to match his baby brothers.
And misc items:
- Going home outfits
- a small travel swing - I have a big 1 upstairs and a big 1 downstairs and thought a small 1 so I could carry up and down so they each have 1 in both places.
- a bouncy/vibrating seat
- 2 carseats
- a stroller
- a bumbo seat - hopefully I can find in pink or purple. William LOVED sitting on the counter in his while I cooked AND he wouldn't scream that I wasn't holding him! I LOVE these seats!!

Gosh, writing it down makes it sound like a lot! I've been watching craigslist for some of it, but am waiting for more $ to build up to chip away at the list.

In the good news department...

My mom and sister's packed up a lot of my niece Ava's 0-3 month clothes and shipped them out this week! I can't wait to go through them and see what if anything I will need! What a blessing and SO much $ saved for me! Thak you so much Kelly and Ava! It will be like Christmas opening the box! And, as little Miss needs the next size we will get more boxes. I will save them as she outgrows them too so if Kelly has another little babe I can mail them back to her.

The whole house - indoor and out has been fall cleaned! The big trash pickup came Wednesday and all items have been moved out of little Miss's room! I couldn't have done it without the boys and Alex. Actually with Alex's crazy hours Nic has helped the most, lending his muscles to move things - although he thinks his mom is now a crazy cleaning lady and I've heard him making fun of me to his friend :).

In the mixed news Department:
Alex's work has decided that they can only carry over 1 week vacation into next year. Last year he carried over 3 and this year he was going to carry over 4. It's almost like a layoff $ plan for us. If he got laid off he would get a check for 4 weeks pay in addition to what they gave for the layoff if anything. In this economy you can never plan enough... But hopefully that doesn't happen! So now he needs to find a way to use 3 weeks or he loses it :(. Good thing is he will be home a few more days and I will have some extra help with William. That will be nice for him too as he has been working so much lately! He still has a lot of vacation for next year. He gets 4 weeks and will carry over 1 so that's 5 weeks. Plus he gets 3 months paid paternity although he is only taking 3 weeks - we like his job too much to take off more than that in this economy...

Stay tuned for some blog changes soon. I need to change out all the boy things and make it boy and girl both! So exciting! Plus I found the perfect new name for my blog! I'm in love with it! It will be....

"IF you think my HANDS are full, you should see my HEART!"

It's just so perfect! My hands will be so full taking care of my 5 children but oh, will my heart just be overflowing and huge with all the LOVE I have for them!

William at 15 months

Stats:
Weight: 19.1 lbs - 3rd percentile
Height: 30" - 15th percentile
Dr watching that he has fallen on the growth chart, but not overly concerned. Recommended trying to get more calories in his diet through pediasure because she will be concerned if he hasn't gained weight at his 18mth check-up. I think he is eating normally for his age. He is picky about certain foods and loves others. His favorite food right now is fruit - banana's, grapes, cantelope and pears - which has few calories though... He is very active running and climbing. 1 shot and the flu shot today. Happy and Healthy.

Stealing daddy's pool sticks off the rack! We have to find a new home for them!
Giving mommy a heartattack standing on the chair.
Eating your favorite fruit - a nectarine - you run and steal them out of the fridge when we open the door.


William you were 15 months on Monday October 17th! You are growing up so fast!

You are both independent and Mommy's cuddlebug!
You like to feed yourself and do pretty well with a fork. You try and hold a piece of pizza just like your brothers and take a bite. You have learned to climb on the couch all by yourself and like to run on it - scary! You love to be outside walking around and swinging on your swing. When we have guests you get a little shy and like to stay with mommy until you are comfortable. You love to give kisses and hugs! And you still love to get books off your bookshelf and read with mommy, daddy, or your brothers. You still usually take 2 naps a day - during the 1st one I try and clean and during the 2nd I try and rest with you.

Mommy needs to cut your hair but I can't bear to cut off your beautiful curls!!!

You are growing up so fast! I Love you to the moon and back 1 million 5 thousand times William! And yes, that is a lot!

Reality...

I keep seeing cartoons making fun of Facebook users stating, "if only my life was as good as I make it sound on Facebook".

Well my life is that good! All the time? No. But am I going to complain about teething or a fresh teenager? No.

Here is my reality!
I have a 16 year old, is he fresh, Absolutely!
I have a 14 mth old. Is he sleeping through the night every night? NOPE!
Am I exhausted after getting up with him and getting up to use the bathroom countless times because I am pregnant? Absolutely!
By the end of the day am I fall down exhausted with slightly swollen feet, a sore back, and aching hips? Absolutely!
Do I wish my husband didn't have to work so many hours that during the week and some Saturday's I am a single mom? Absolutely!
Do I yell at my kids sometimes and then feel bad? Absolutely!
Are my degrees gathering dust on the shelf in the closet! Absolutely - the most expensive pieces of paper we own doing nothing :)
Do I sit on the floor most of the day because William screams bloody murder if I sit on the couch? Absolutely!
Do I HATE doing homework with my 7 year old. Yes! HATE IT!
Do I LOVE my life? ABSOLUTELY!

My life is wonderful and I am so thankful for this time right now! I hope it remains in my memories when things are really rough!

I love being pregnant with all the good and bad. Luckily, I have relatively easy pregnancies and when I am not feeling well I can't complain about something I chose, hoped for, prayed for, wished for, and spent a ton of $ on. My pregnancies and my children are wishes, dreams and answered prayers. My life right now is spent being their mom and even on mine and their worst days I couldn't imagine or want a life where I wasn't doing exactly what I am doing every day! Taking care of them, loving them, being their mom!

And even in the midst of an argument with my husband, I am always extremely thankful for his willingness to accept Nic as his son and love him, to go on the very difficult emotional and financial journey of IVF 3 times to grow our family, and for his willingness to work so hard and such long hours to support our family. And even more so his willingness to support me as a stay at home mom raising our children.

I use to think that God only gave us what we can handle. I no longer think that. I believe that God gives us more than we can handle so that we turn to him. There was a time that life was overwhelming - hospital bills, lack of hours at work, Alex working 3 and 2 jobs. I remember sitting and just pleading with God that I couldn't handle any more and that I was breaking and to please help. And, over time life has improved... I try now to turn immediately to God for help because for sure some burdens my shoulders are not strong enough to carry, but God's shoulders are strong enough for all our burdens and to hand them over to him grants us such peace! And that is not to say that by handing over our burdens we stop helping ourselves, but with God's help, helping ourselves and all it entails, becomes much easier.

The Twins - Gender Reveal!

I Just Love My BOYS!

And that is a Wonderful thing!


Because...

Baby A is a....

BABY BOY!
Trucks and Cars, Puppy Dogs and Balls, Running and Climbing, and lots of BLUE!


And...

Baby B is a....

BABY GIRL!

PINK, PINK, PINK

Lace and barbies, Bows and Ribbons, Dresses and Dolls!

I feel so completely and utterly blessed. 4 Sons and 1 Daughter. My Dream Family!

PS: If this is a dream I don't want to wake up! I am so excited that William will have a brother so close in age to be his best buddy! And I am so excited to have a little girl to dress all girly, play dress up with, share my barbies and my dolls and doll clothes with. And heaven help her boyfriends with 4 older brothers and an overprotective father! :)

18 Week Specialist Appt

Babies and Mommy are doing GREAT!

Today we saw the Mommy Dr Specialist and the Baby Dr Specialist.

Both babies are measuring 8oz and are perfect! Just what we want to hear!!

My blood pressure is weigh down 115/70 and I PASSED my 3 hour glucose. I will repeat the glucose test at 24 weeks and then again at 30. The Dr thinks it's just a matter of time, but I am going to eat real healthy and we will see if we can beat this, this time!

I need to be done the deep housework cleaning and yardwork now. The babies are getting too big in my tummy to keep up the lifting. So it's time to slow down just a bit and no more bending unless I have something to use to hold onto to bend and stand back up.

I am so happy, that all looks well! :)

Vacation time

This is the boys 2nd week of vacation. We aren't doing anything big as we will be going to CT in June. Can't wait! But a little anxious to fly with 5 children! Mostly we have just been hanging out and getting stuff done around the house.

The 2 older boys had their physicals yesterday. They are both healthy and well! Justin is my biggest boy, 50th percentile for weight and height! They got their flu shots also. We had the choice between the mist and the shot, but after hearing the mist was a live virus which could cause the flu, we went with the shot.

With Alex home this week (he actually took a whole week of vacation off!) we've moved onto more of the outdoor work. The garden and trees are weeded. The curbing has been weedwacked and weeds pulled outside the curbing. Alex rebuilt the roof of the playscape. Tonight we will hopefully move the weight bench and move cribs upstairs. Tomorrow the plan is to put the roof on the house, close up the hole for the rockwall area, reput a fence around the garden and if the rain holds off to spray weedkiller. Then Thurs's plan is the doorstep - it needs to be built out a bit for the screen door and fix a light.

William has been enjoying being outside with us swinging or sweeping the porch. He loves to hold on to the broom and move it back and forth. He really hates stepping on the grass even with shoes on though.

I am so excited for Friday and to see the babies again. They feel heavy in my stomach lately and I think that I am as big as I was at 8 months pregnant with William. Hopefully by the time they arrive I will still have clothes that fit me! :)

Hows it going?

Life is going well. The boys are both on a 2 week vacation. Alex is taking next week off, hopefully we can find a farm to go pick some pumpkins and go on a hayride. Yesterday we went to the pool and today Justin is having a friend over. Nic is playing live on the xbox and hanging out with his friend Spencer. William is getting into everything! He got his 1st black eye last night falling on a block. Poor baby!

We are doing lots of cleaning in between having fun. The whole house is done being fall cleaned including defrosting the freezer :).The to do list is getting a little shorter. As of now we have to clean the garage, do the backyard, and move the weight bench down and finish the nursery. Not bad! The boys have been super helpful, pinching in with little complaining. Nic moved furniture and did some vacuuming. Justin loves polishing with the murphey's - I think it was the spray bottle :). Today we worked a little more on our front tree trimming and trimmed and weeded Grandma and Grandpa's. I have spaghetti sauce and meatballs in the crockpot - leftover sauce will be the start of my freezer meals for when the babies come or I need to rest.

I have started 1 of the babies crib quilts. I have it all tied and just need to bind it. I have made 4 bibs, 2 burb cloths and 2 receiving blankets. I love all the soft material and am so excited to get it all put away in the nursery.

I went to the Dr's Monday and my blood pressure was way down. :) I came off the metphormin on Friday and did the 1 hour glucose test Monday too. I'm still waiting on the results. I go back to the specialist next Friday. But so far we are doing well.

The Distructonator! :)

This is why all my cabinets are locked except for the 2 tupperware ones. What a crazy boy!

Specialist

Yesterday was my 2nd visit to the specialist. I loved seeing the babies! Alex was a little freaked by the 3d, but I love it! First we did the scan and they are just so cute! Baby A wouldn't stay still, but baby B was all tucked up and more quiet, just chillin. They were able to tell us with pretty good accuracy what they are - but I'm keeping it a secret for just a little bit.
The Specialist is pretty happy where my sugars are, I have been so careful with food counting carbs like a crazy person! Alex and I stopped for a quick burger on the way home and I got mine as a carb special with lettuce leaves for a bun :). The Specialist wants me to go off the metphormin on the date the IVF protocol calls for, a few days later we will do the sugar drink test and see how I do. The blood pressure meds are working, hopefully my body will adjust to them and I'll start to feel better. I go back on Oct 6th for another scan and a check in.
The Twins - Cuddled together :)

Baby A in 3d

Baby B in regular ultrasound.

Yuck

That about sums up how I feel.

I think it may be the blood pressure meds. I am exhausted and just feeling like I can't get out of my own way. Luckily I have an appointment Thurs with the specialist. Plus some of my meds are making me gag when I try and take them - that's not concerning just normal. The tiredness is concerning considering I have a 13 month to run after. I also seem to be up every hour to 2 hours at night. Just crazy...

I did manage last weekend to get the front room fall cleaned and this weekend managed the family and dining room, the laundry room and hallway. I swept ceiling and walls, dusted, cleaned baseboards, window blinds, cleaned curtains, took down and cleaned light fixtures, vacuumed furniture and cleaned nic nacks. I really wanted to tackle the kitchen but just wasn't up to it. We are hoping to rent a steam cleaner and do the carpets this weekend...hoping this will still be in the plans but Alex's work just got crazy and he will be working really long hours the next 2 weeks and also working the next 2 Saturdays :(.

Nic and I also got the bush's trimmed and he and Alex tried to tackle the awful tree. I think the tree is winning. We still probably have 2 more weekends of tackling that awful thing as we have to wait for out garbage can to empty out again.

What is best

It's hard to know what is best and then when you do know, sometimes, it is hard to do it.

We made the decision to pull Justin out of his school and put him in the neighborhood school. This was a hard decision because I really like the amount of parent involvement at Justin's school, I think it makes a HUGE difference. But you can find good and bad in every school. There are good and bad teachers in every school, good and bad kids in every school and good and bad family's in every school. We have greatly enjoyed his K and 1st grade experience at his old school but I know we will find good things at his new school and I am hoping he will meet many new friends in our neighborhood to ride bikes with and play with.

There were a number of reasons for our decision.

I don't work so I've always limited myself to 1 fill up of gas per paycheck. I have been filling up a lot more than that so much that the $160 - $200 I spent last year is now up to $500. Spending this much on gas is just too hard for us financially.

William is not taking naps at home. He takes them in the car for the 50 mins it takes me to drive to and from school. Since he is not in a carrier carseat nap ends as soon as I take him out of the car. This leaves me little quiet sanity time.

I am pregnant with twins. I won't have room to carpool when they are born. Getting Justin to and from school will be much easier when they are born if he is in the neighborhood. Plus if I need to start restricting what I do Nic can pick Justin up at school after he gets home.

It would be hard to drive to play dates. So it will be great for him to have friends in the neighborhoon that are close and not 20 mins + away.

There is no way I will make my 80 hours of volunteer time at Justin's school this year.

Justin's not having a great classroom experience this year. As a matter of fact when his teacher responded to my email last night. She said she was sorry to see him leave and that he must be getting more comfortable because he smiled for the 1st time in class yesterday. Now that is so very sad and breaks my heart because Justin is such a happy boy. To take well over a month to smile???? Now this is not the main reason for leaving as I could def. ask to switch his class however, it did make the decision easier knowing he has not been happy.

We've been over to his new school 2x. They seem very sweet. His teacher said she has a really wonderful class this year, no discipline problems and the kids are all very caring. She has 2 buddy's she will be putting with Justin to show him the ropes and for the 1st 2 days she will be taking her lunch with Justin and the other kids so she makes sure he is being included and meeting everyone. How sweet is that? Monday morning I will walk Justin to the office and we will go together to his classroom. I'll stay for a few minutes and then let him get started on his day. His teacher even called me last night just to make sure that all my questions were answered and to reassure me that she would be there to help Justin transition smoothly. This has just reassured me that we are making the best decision for our family.

Justin already seems excited for morning, lunch time and afternoon recess. Right now he just gets 1 short one as his day ends at 12:20, now he will go to school till 3:30. He is excited that he gets to bring a lunch to school and sometimes gets to get hot lunch because his new school has a cafeteria. He is very excited that when it cools down we will be able to walk to school and ride his bike. I know there will be some other wonderful things he will find to be excited about too.

I'm praying for a wonderful 1st day of school for Justin on Monday.

I love Fall

The crisp air.
The smell of leaves and fireplaces.
The crunch of leaves underfoot.
The glorious colors of patchwork trees.
Finding the best and brightest leaf on the ground.
Ironing leaves in wax paper for placemats.
Raking and jumping into a huge pile of leaves.
Apple cider.
Apples eaten off of trees.
Homemade Appleasauce with cinnamon.
Fresh Apple Pie.
Fresh Apple crisp.
Hay rides.
Picking the perfect pumpkin in the patch.
Scarecrows.
Hay mazes.
Connecticut is so beautiful this time of year! I wish I was home...

Specialist Again

Back to the specialist to monitor my morning sugar #'s and my high blood pressure - where that came from I have no idea! I'm on meds for both so hope we can keep them controlled and get these babies to 36 weeks and healthy. The good thing though is next Thursday I get to see my babies again. I wonder if we will be able to tell what they are? I'll be a day short of 15 weeks...I hope so!

Life

Life feels a little crazy...

I'm not really liking Justin's teacher so much this year. I don't agree with some of her classroom policies like - going to the bathroom at an unscheduled time results in loss of treasure box. Who the heck does that to a 2nd grader? I'm surprised she didn't have a ton of accidents because the kids were trying to hold it in! I am also very disappointed with the use of the ipads. I sure hope that improves as time goes on or that was a huge waste of $200.00 this year. He also doesn't seem as self-assured as last year in class. He's not really connecting to the other kids - or the teacher. I'm still waiting it out to see if it improves but my mom senses are on alert - something just doesn't seem right...

Not sure what we are doing next year for school yet. In my current car I can't carpool and this month driving both ways to school plus my Dr trips I have spent $500.00 - which we so can not afford! Especially with the 300+ electric bill! So either we look into a 4th row seat and then I can still carpool or we look at a caravan so my gas will be cheaper. We thought about a 10 passenger van but the gas mileage is worse than the suburban! Decisions, Decisions... We can also put Justin into the school in our community, but he wouldn't get home everyday until almost 4 - that's sad!

The specialist said that the twins each having their own cord was good - less stress on them for nutrients, etc. But, it is more stessful on my body and that the gestational diabetes would be worse. How true that was. I am struggling to keep my sugars under control and my blood pressure was high at my OB appt on Wed. So I had to do a 24 hr urine collection and bring it to the lab today and have blood drawn again. I go back into the OB this Weds and hopefully it was just a fluke - maybe the heat. The good thing is these will resolve themselves after the babies are born. The worrisome part is controlling it until the babies are born. I have also lost 5 lbs which is ok and the OB is not concerned if I don't gain weight, even with twins - since I have so much to lose and I'm on the gestational diabetes diet. They also found out that I have strep B in my tests. I know I didn't with Nic and Justin. Not sure with William as the test hadn't come back prior to his birth and they gave me antibiotics just in case. I know it's not a big deal and it's cured with antibiotics at delivery but UG! The Dr said if your water breaks get to the hospital right away so we can start them, don't sit home for 6 hours. Ummm - c-section thank you. That's enough recovery pain that I certainly don't want to experience contractions - I'll be there as fast as I can! Plus it's almost an hour to get to the hospital from here!

My results came back from my 12 week ultrasound and bloodwork from the specialists. The babies look perfect! I wasn't really worried, the measurements that they took came back great in the office, but I love the official relief - from what was sent to the lab - that the twins don't have any abnormalities that could be detected. I can't wait for the 18 week scan to see them again! And of course to see if they are girl - boy, boys, or girls.

My house! UG! I am so not motivated! I really need this heat to go away! I need to fall clean so... bad. THere are dust bunnies on light fixtures behind the beds, the refridge - you name it! My yard is a mess - just awful! But with this heat it's way too much to fall clean and I don't want to start too early because with the babies there is no way that I am going to get a good spring cleaning done! So the fall cleaning will have to be good enough to last for both fall and spring! And yes I have a husband and children that will be helping, but 109 degrees is way too hot for me to ask them to start fall cleaning now. I just have to exercise a little patience - this heat can't last forever!

Sleep - is just about non-existant. I fall asleep ok and do my normal up every few hours to use the bathroom. But in-between 3 and 4 am I am up for good. It's crazy!

Alex's work is undergoing some changes. The next 90 days he will be on a project. I hope all goes well and works out! Please oh Please!!!

Nic is busy with open mat and getting ready for wrestling. He seems to be really enjoying it and has got quite a few boys from church to join. The only problem now is that there is only 1 mom that can pick them all up, noone else has a big enough car - well I do, but with William and Justin in tow not enough seats. UG! He is really enjoying his classes and teachers this year. His 2 favorites are psychology and History.

12 Week Ultrasound

The babies at 12 weeks in 3D
Baby A on left and Baby B on right

The babies look great! They were moving around like crazy and giving the tech a headache trying to get measurements but they finally cooperated! They are measuring perfect and everything looks great!
I have to say though that I was worried. Is it normal to pray all the way there and then finally breathe easy when you see the babies and hear their heartbeats?

I met with the specialist and I'm high risk due to age, past gestational diabetes and twins. I am going to start my gd diet, test sugar until I am off my IVF protocal of Metformin and then do sugar test. Unless my #'s are out of wack and then we will reevaluate. We are staying right on top of this as 2 umbiblical cords is going to cause quite the havoc on my system - he had this whole explanation with paper, pens and paperclips but I so could not reinact that again :) But I do know that he is being cautious and I am loving that!

I get to see the babies next at 18 weeks. Such a long way away...

Crazy Days

It has been a crazy few days around here.

Justin, William and I have had a cold since this weekend. Not sure if it's the carrying twins, running after a 13 month old or the cold but I am exhausted!

William finally had his 3rd tooth pop thru on the top left! It only took 13 months for that tooth :). I can finally see white under his gums on the bottom too so maybe he will get some more sooner than later. I'm hoping for soon, so we can get the crankiness done all at once rather than spread out!

I took Justin to the Dr on Tuesday and he has his annual back to school strep with an ear infection. She couldn't believe he wasn't complaining about his ear too since it was full of dicolored fluid and pus! The nurse did a strep swab and we had the results of that by the time the Dr came in the room. Poor Justin - doesn't seem to slow him down to much though.

Hopefully Nic and Alex don't catch this and our house can be germ free again soon!

Our Journey to babies # 4 and 5

This is a timeline of our journey to conceive our twins! They started as hopes and wishes and dreams and prayers and through a little medical and Heavenly intervention we have received an answer to our prayers! I still can hardly believe this is happening to me, but it's true...WE ARE HAVING TWINS!!!

May 3, 2011
I've been wishing, and hoping and dreaming for a 4th little baby. Today was cycle day 3 and Alex and I both went to the fertility clinic for blood draws and to pick up birth control pills for me to start on Thursday. I go for my HSG procedure on the 12th. The ladies were wonderful to see - for such a stressful place (infertility Dr office) it is so warm and welcoming! They loved William and people were popping over to keep seeing "one of their babies". They thought he was beautiful and just loved his blue eyes and were excited that he would wave to them. I am a mixture of excitement and a feeling of wanting to quell that excitement because this might not work. I know without a doubt I want another baby but I also in a way feel guilty that I have 3 already and want a 4th and some people are there just wanting 1... I just have to move on from this and get into my hopeful mode. I'm also stressing about everything working. Retrieval and transfer are going to be the end of June and I am going to need Alex with me at retrieval and to take a few days off at transfer. I am hoping that it works out ok - Nic will help with Justin but William is going to need Alex here after I have surgery - I'll be all out of wack from the anesthesia and on pain killers and then after transfer I'll be on bedrest...I know it will work out, Alex and I always find a way to do it...

May 10, 2011
I started birth control last Thursday and this Thursday I go meet with Dana to get my protocol (med chart list) and have the HSG x-ray done. I am excited to keep moving forward with this cycle. I am scared about the hsg. I have antibiotics to take Weds night as they insert a tube through your cervix and blow up a balloon and you can get an infection. They will get me a little numbing shot in my cervix so hoping the pain won't be too bad and I have to take 800mg of ibuprofin 1 hour before my appt. Alex is taking the day off to watch William - he will come to the protocol appt and then bring William home. He wanted to stay but I think it will be easier on William to come home rather than sit for a few hours.
I really want this to work. I really want another little baby to snuggle and complete our family!

Thursday May 12, 2011
Today was the HSG. Alex and I met with Dana to get the protocol. Most of it's the same as last time. No blood thinners this time, only aspirin. After the scare with the bleeding with William he thinks it's best to discontinue that. I am happy about that as those shots burned and left nasty bruises but would gladly do again if it will get me my baby. He added Metformin 2x a day starting now to regulate my sugars and hopefully keep the gestational diabetes in check too. William came too and was oohed and ahhed over! They love to see their babies and happy outcomes! My ultrasound tech was there - she was there to see him 1st and show us his itty bitty heartbeat and was so excited to see him and gushed all over him.
After that we went to the surgery center. Alex and William stayed in the waiting room (he decided he could handle the wait with William) and I went back and got into the beautiful get up, hair in a net booties on and the beautiful gown :/ . I had some great nurses though and 1 of them stayed with me the whole time and let me squeeze her hand through the procedure. When Dr. C came in they said - she's back for another Dr. she has a 9 month old that's 1 of ours. He smiled and said well this time let's see if we can get you 2 :) . I love how wonderful they are and so compassionate and caring! And I love how they love the babies and are so proud of them!
HSG results - everything looks perfect no blockages everything clear and enough room to carry twins and my uterus still looks good after 2 c-sections. Whew!

Friday, June 3
Today was Ultrasound and bloodwork. Everything is all clear... Shots start Monday and more pills added.

Monday June 6th
It started today - the shots...Oh my little babies waiting in heaven please choose us as your family. I am praying so hard for you to join our family! I love you already!

Monday June 13th
Today I have about 7 follicles on 1 side and 5 on the other. They are thinking possible retrieval on Friday. This cycle my follicles have grown much faster than our cycle with William. My follicle size can get to 22 before we need to get them out. The highest are at high 18s and we are trying to give the 5's some time to make it to 12. I am feeling like it's almost time. I have a lot of soreness on the left side. Blood draws are hard, they are having a hard time getting blood and my stomach is full of shot bruises. But it's all okay and worth it to get my precious baby(ies).

Weds June 15th, 2011
Today was the day. All follicles over 12 so I just triggered (this is a shot) a few minutes ago at 7:15. Surgery center Friday at 630am and surgery at 715 to retrieve the eggs from my follicles. I have been feeling awful. Nautious and very bloated from the large follicles. But I don't care, I just want to be pregnant and to hold another miracle baby! I am praying so hard for mature eggs, then fertilization and good sperm, then 16 cells, then sticky embreyos, then to have a positive pregnancy test, then a 2nd positive, then an ultrasound with 1 or 2 beating hearts, then to carry a healthy baby or babies to 36 or 37 weeks, then to hold 2 beautiful babies a boy and a girl. Really I will take 1 or 2 boys or girls but in my dreams and prayers I pray for 1 boy and 1 girl. I pray for my prayers to be answered! Oh babies you are my wishes, my dreams, my prayers and I ache to hold you in my arms!

Friday, June 17 th
Surgery went well. I was the only patient that had retrieval today. We got 7 eggs.
Tired and sore today. Drinking lots of gatorade and eating munchos. I need lots of salt right now.

Saturday, June 18th
The lab just called. Out of the 7 eggs 5 have fertilized. (I had a lot more follicles but they had a hard time getting to 1 side and some of the eggs were not mature or good enough.) Keep growing my babies. I love you and am taking more shots and pills to get my body ready for you. We found out what a miracle it was that I had cycled faster than I did with William and was the only patient that had retrieval yesterday. The embreologist needed over 2 hours to find sperm that were good enough. Heavenly Father's hands were for sure at work here - to give the embreologist the time and the patience to work so diligently.

Monday, june 20th
Tomorrow is the day at 11:00 my babies are going back in my body! Mommy is coming to get you babies. I love you so much.

Tuesday, June 21st
For the 3rd time I am pregnant with triplets. I feel sad and hopeful all at the same time. We transferred in 1 that was given a 66 percent chance, one that was given a 22 percent chance and 1 not really given a chance at all. I am so hopeful for miracles, I don't want to lose more babies. I love them all so much!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Home Pregnancy Test - 2 faint pink lines!

Thursday, June 30, 2011
Digital Home Pregnancy Test says "PREGNANT!" 2 darker pink lines in regular pregnancy test!

Friday, July 1, 2011
Today was my 1st beta. It needed to be between 50 and 100 at 11 days. They tested mine at 10 days as it's a holiday weekend. It is 132! I am pregnant! I am so excited, so overwhelmed! But so cautious! Tuesday I go back for my 2nd beta. I need the 132 to double 2 times by Tuesday! Please oh please little babies please keep growing. I love you so very much!!!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Today was not good. My beta only rose to 325. A chemical pregnancy - I am miscarring my babies... I have to go for another beta Thursday and then I will be pulled off meds to give my body a chance to miscarry fully. Then I have to continue blood test till my beta gets to 0. Then I have to have to wait another full month before trying again. Hoping for September. I am so incredible sad.... I just want to curl up in bed and just mope but I have my 3 boys (Thank God I have them) and they need me to be present. But oh it is so... hard!
The nurse did say to be cautiously optimistic it could be other things too, but sometimes it is easier to give up hope... I know I'm not in a good frame of mind today...

Thursday, July 7, 2011
Today my beta was 927. What? I was so expecting to be pulled off meds and wait for a miscarriage. But now I am cautiously optimistic and I have an ultrasound on Monday, July 18th to see if we have a heartbeat. They said they see this happen often, most likely I was pregnant with twins and 1 didn't make it and that is why my # did not double. I remain cautiously optimistic...

Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I am so scared. I don't feel pregnancy systems. Yes, here I am wishing for nautiousness, sore boobs, anything... My butt is killing me, that's it! It's got huge hard sore red welts all over it from the shots. My stomach has tons of leftover adhesive from the patches and I'm gagging over the horse pills. I just want to be pregnant! I want to hold another precious love in my arms. I want a few of my children to grow up close in age. My heart is in torment, I keep telling God I believe in his odds, in his miracles because I know he works through my Dr's hands. But I know that there are also so many unanswered prayers. So many people that just want 1 baby, never mind their 4th. I just wish sometimes that getting pregnant was easier. I am a good mom. I try to do my best to raise my children to be good loving productive members of society. I love them beyond belief! So many people bring children into this world and don't even want them - it drives me crazy! My children are dreams, wishes, and answered prayers from heaven. I want my baby so bad, please help he/she to be growing and developing my heart hurts so much with love for him/her already...

Friday, July 15, 2011
If I am pregnant I am 6 weeks today. But, I feel Heartbroken... I am so scared that I am not pregnant. I don't feel pregnant. I am just so overwhelmingly sad. I am not giving up - I pray all the time..... I am just not sure that I have a baby growing... My heart is hurting...

Monday, July 18, 2011
Today we got the most fabulous surprise ever! I can't wait to tell people our wonderful news!

We are having TWINS!

What happened with the numbers they think was that 1 embreyo grew a little slower than the 1st and that's why my #'s were slower to rise. But today we saw 2 beautiful little embreyos and 2 absolutely breathtakiningly beautiful hearts beating!
Alex was so funny at the appointment. We were both nervous that there would be no baby at all. So, when they said there is 1 sac with a baby and a beating heart we were so relieved. This overwhelming relief rushed over me and Alex squeezed my hand. Then she said oh and here's a 2nd baby with a heartbeat and Alex shouted, "WHAT?" and jumped up to look and I just started to cry! My wishes, dreams, and prayers had come true! I immediately looked heavenward and thanked Heavenly Father for yet another of his incredible miracles, 2 more miracles!

Monday, July 25, 2011
This was the last appt with our fertility clinic. Everything looks great! The babies are measuring right on track and they have beautiful beating hearts! It's kind of sad, the people are just so caring and wonderful - I got so many hugs on the way out! I left all my extra meds with them, probably a couple thousand $'s worth - it is crazy how expensive they are. Luckily our insurance is good and we only have to pay a copay and since I cycled so fast I had a lot extra. I am hoping they will help a mom to be that is struggling to afford the thousands and thousands in meds reach her dreams of having a baby!
I have to call and let them know what we are having and go back to visit with the babies.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Today was my first OB appointment. I am going with a different OB. I switched to one that is a little more specialized in high risk for the twins. There are 5 doctors in the practice and I will see all of them. I was very happy after the first visit. They are very ontop of everything! They have me already going this month for a perinatal consult for the gestational diabetes and for carrying twins etc. I am glad they are so ontop of the gestational diabetes and not wanting to wait to 20 weeks for the drink test. I think the babies and I will be well taken care of in this practice.

Wednesday, August 9, 2011
I am feeling ok. Nautious here and there - mainly when I am hungry I get nautious. There are some things that don't agree with me. BK Whoppers and my favorite meal turkey, gravy & mashed potato's make me violently ill! I am almost all done with shots - this Friday is the last day, YEA!!! Then I just have pills left to take. I still don't feel too pregnant. I keep thinking that with 2 babies growing my stomach should be growing at an amazing rate but not yet. I can't wait until I can feel the babies move - that always makes it feel the most real to me!

Friday, August 12, 2011
Last day of shots today! YEA!!!
Today I am 10 weeks pregnant!

We are expectingTWINS

We are beyond excited! In a day or two I'll post our journey towards babies #4 and #5, But I will leave you with this thought:

Heavenly Father is amazing!

I've always imagined tucking in 4 children at night, and Alex and I were so ready to add 1 last little baby to our family. So we went back to our fertility clinic for 1 last IVF cycle (But, we were worried at transfer when we learned that 1 of our little embreyos was given a 66% chance and 1 was a 22% chance(yes that was 22%!!)

But Dr's odds are never Heavenly Father's odds!

Now, I imagine tucking in 5 children, 5 pairs of shoes lined up, 5 children around my dinner table. I am so very grateful! I feel like I am living an amazing dream! Ever since I was a little girl I have dreamed about twins. I guess God knew I needed to be older and more patient to be the best mom I could be to twins, have 3 children under the age of 2 and to be a MOM TO 5!

Life is going to be crazy, but I am so looking forward to all the choas and excitment that having 5 children will bring!

I am so excited for 2012 and to hold these precious miracle babies in my arms in February!

PS: We are not posting on facebook yet.

9th Anniversary

Happy 9th Anniversary to Alex and I. It was on Aug 3rd. We didn't do any big celebrating or going out to dinner this year. We had been given a big gift earlier that we said was our Anniversary present to each other. So, we just spent a quiet evening together relishing and giving thanks for the family we have made together the past 9 years.
Thanks for a wonderful 9 years Alex, I am so excited for our future!

Happy 16th Birthday Nic!

I can't believe that you are 16 years old and a junior in high school! Time has certainly gone by fast since I first held you in my arms. You are growing up and exerting your independence and making your own decisions. You have learned that choices have consequences - good and bad. You are getting more interested in the news and caring about the world you will go out and work in. You love your brothers and they love you back a TON!

Nic, I hope you have a wonderful 16th year full of learning and growing! I love you to the moon and back 1 million 5 thousand times, and YES that is a lot!

Happy 1st birthday William!

I love you so much my littlest boy! I held you in my wishes, dreams, and prayers for years. I carried you under my heart for about 8 months. I have held you in my heart and in my arms for 1 whole year! I love you so much William that when I think about it my heart swells with so much joy. I love to be your mommy so very much! It brings me joy everyday!

William you are now:
Drinking out of a sippy cup. You decided you hated your bottle and that was it.
When you don't like something you blow a rasberry and shake your head no.
You are walking and almost running.
You love to stand at the bottom of the stairs and yell to Nic and JJ.
You love having books read to you. Sometimes I think we read 50 books a day.
You don't like mommy to sit on the couch, I have to sit on the floor with you. At the end of the day mommy has a sore butt. But I know this will only last such a short time so I love every minute playing with you on the floor!
You help mommy clean up. I sing the clean up song and hand you a toy and you follow me with your toys to the basket.
You love bananas and mommy's banana bread.
We play head shoulders knees and toes. It makes you laugh and you point to your own head and toes.
You still like to feed the dogs and pet them.
You love grill cheese.
You love to knock over block towers and sometimes you don't even wait until the tower has finished being built.
You love to push your blue hippo walker, play your piano, and push your wagon full of blocks.

William you bring sunshine love and laughter to my life everyday! I can't believe that you are 1 year old today! Happy birthday my baby boy! I love you to the moon and back 1 million 5 thousand times. And yes that is a lot!











12 Month Stats:
Weight: 19.5lbs - 5-10th%
Height: 28.75" - 10-25th%

A Walking William!

William, I love watching you take those first faultering footsteps and then gain self assurance and go further and further across the room. You are growing up my littlest boy!

William 1st you crawled...

Now you are walking...

11 Months

William you are 11 Months today.
You are walking along the furniture. Squealing when you play. Eating anything. Drinking out of a straw. Trying to eat with a fork.Laughing all the time and it's the cutest thing ever. You love your toy pianos and dance to the music. You still have only 2 teeth but I know more are on there way:). I love you William more than you could ever imagine!
Love you William!~

Justin is ........7 !!

Where has the time gone my Middle Son? I can't believe that you are 7!

This was a big year of change for you Justin. You are no longer my baby boy. It is so hard to lose your baby status after 6 years but you do love your baby brother so much! A few extra hugs and some special time just for you with dad and I has seemed to reassure you how special you are to us. You are still VERY energetic and give me heart attacks daily, my nightly prayer is that we will get through the next day with no broken bones. You tease Nic endlessly and want him to spend every second of his day playing with you ~ you completely LOVE your big brother!

You are such a blessing and I am so thankful to have you for my son! You bring such joy, sunshine and laughter to my life everyday!

Justin... my silly, jumping, running, climbing, falling, laughing, big hearted, loving, full of energy boy...I LOVE YOU to the moon and back - 5 million 1 thousand times ~ and yes that is A LOT! :)

Happy 7th birthday Justin!

End of 1st Grade

Justin is finishing up 1st grade and last night he had his last Cottage Fair where the children put on a play about the Pilgrims and Indians and all they have learned this last quarter. We then went to look at their Science Fair projects. We then celebrated at Sonic with slushies and ice cream! YUM!

My middle boy is growing so fast! He graduates to 2nd grade on June 2nd and then on June 10th he turns 7!

Red Sox Fan

Easter Catch-up in pictures

10 Months

How can this be? 10 Months already? My baby is growing up way too fast!


William this has been a month of lots of new things!
A new tooth! May 1st you cut through your bottom right tooth.
Crawling, you started and now we can't stop you!
You pull yourself up on everything and can stand without holding on.
You walk along the furniture.
You love to play TIMBER! Mommy builds the blocks and you knock them down!
You love soft serve ice cream cones and squeal for more! You also love pancakes and waffles and can gobble a banana in no time!
You can climb a couple stairs by yourself.
You love to say "YEA!" and clap your hands and then laugh and laugh.
You stand at the gate and yell until the dogs run over to find out what all the noise is about. Max and JD walk away but Riley stays to let you pet him.
You love to stand at the stairs and yell, "JJ, JJ, JJ, JJ"
When Nic comes in the room you love to say, "Ni, Ni, Ni" until he comes to see you.

William, you brighten my days. You fill my arms and my heart. You are my son, my miracle. I love you William ~ to the moon and back 1 million 5 thousand times ~ and yes that is a lot! Happy 10 month bday baby!