Life

Life is TOUGH!
It is absolutely wonderful having 5 children but it is VERY TOUGH! Much tougher than I thought!
The sleep deprivation is hard. Emma and Jaxen seem to wake at the same time and want to be held ALL the time. Which I LOVE! I have always been one to want to hold my babies 24/7! However with 2 babies plus a 1 year old I am struggling. I want to hold my babies so badly every minute and find that during the day they are in the pack n play too much so I can do things for William and protect them from Willia

I love my 1 year old Sooo much but oh my gosh is he jealous of the babies. He wants to be held when I hold them. He wants to poke and help burp and love and hold and even pick them up and share toys. I know this will pass and we are just in a major adjustment stage.

I struggle also with hearing the babies cry. I know this is just gong to have to happen. I am one person home most of the time by myself. I know they are going to have to cry. It just breaks my heart to hear them cry the whole time I am feeding the other one. And I can't have the other one on my lap too as I need one hand to protect them from William's over loving them while they eat.

Making dinner is virtually impossible! Sooo after a whole lot of fast food I have a new game plan. We have a monthly menu now with lots of casseroles, crockpot meals , and some sandwich nights thrown in. On the weekend I try and make something big like a turkey breast or ham or spaghetti sauce that can be used thru the week in casseroles. Hopefully this will work.

People do ask to help, it's just hard to accept help. I have a ton of food, I should be able to find time to cook it! And really I have such a hard time when I know there are others needing help more than me. And it's hard to know when I'll have a tough day or a great day.

Hit 5:00 around here and I think most people would run away like crazy. The babies are fussy, William wants to be held until bedtime the boys just want to eat and act crazy teasing each others - just NUTS! Now I now why after dinner my parents would close the door of the den watch the news and leave us girls to clean up after dinner - oh my the chaos that dinner time and after bring!

I know that the craziness shall pass and I will yearn to have it back. So while I am going through the craziness I am just going to try and enjoy it as much as I can and mantain a little of my sanity. Because I truly love these children more than words can ever say!